Out of the Darkness, Into the Light
by DizzyDrea
Summary: "Hey," he said, pushing closer, wrapping both hands around her head to force her to look at him. "You are the most important person in the world to me, and you're hurting. It doesn't have to be me, but it needs to be someone you trust. Talk to Deeks if you think it'll help. But don't shut us out. Okay?"


Title: Out of the Darkness, Into the Light  
Author: DizzyDrea  
Summary: "Hey," he said, pushing closer, wrapping both hands around her head to force her to look at him. "You are the most important person in the world to me, and you're hurting. It doesn't have to be me, but it needs to be someone you trust. Talk to Deeks if you think it'll help. But don't shut us out. Okay?"  
Rating: T  
Spoilers: Spoils of War  
Author's Notes: It seems like the show is going to just ignore the emotional consequences of what happened to Kensi, which seems a little weird to me considering they dealt with Deeks' issues after Siderov tortured him, but whatever. Muse thought she'd fill the gap, and put a Callen/Kensi twist on it, to boot.  
This can be read as a sequel to _The Third Phone_, though it's not necessary to have read that story to read this one.  
For the _locked in_ square on my Trope Bingo Card.  
Disclaimer: NCIS and NCIS: Los Angeles and all its particulars are the property of CBS, Paramount, Donald P. Bellisario, Belisarius Productions, Shane Brennan, Shane Brennan Productions, and a lot of other people who aren't me. I am doing this for fun and for practice. Mostly for fun.

~o~

"Get in there, and don't try anything funny!"

The shove was unnecessary, but it got the message across. Callen and Kensi stumbled through the door to the storage closet, Kensi practically falling into his arms from the last push their goon-of-the-week gave her. The door slammed firmly shut behind them, plunging them into the near-darkness.

If not for the small window high on the wall opposite the door, he imagined they wouldn't be able to see the metaphorical—or literal, at this point—hand in front of their faces. He'd been in worse situations and survived, and these idiots definitely didn't fall into the 'worse' category.

This close, Callen could hear the hitch in Kensi's breathing as the silence enfolded them. Kensi Blye was usually the most calm, together, focused agent in the room, but right now she looked like a trapped animal. Alarm bells started going off in his head, and he only hoped their team would get there sooner rather than later. This could get ugly, and he knew he was just about the last person in the world who should be dealing with this.

Callen glanced around, not really interested in their surroundings but more for something to focus on as Kensi stepped back and ran shaking hands over her hair, still pulled neatly back in a ponytail, though some strands had flown free from the rough handling they'd taken.

It looked like they'd been thrown in with the cleaning supplies, and Callen would chuckle at the irony, except the look on Kensi's face wasn't good and he had a feeling joking now would just get on her last nerve.

"You okay?" he asked, when his eyes landed back on her.

She shook her head, like she was trying desperately to knock something back into place, then flashed that cheeky grin she used on her partner to such great effect. "Just peachy."

"I give Sam fifteen minutes, tops," Callen said as he leaned back against the wall, under the window. He crossed his arms over his chest and chuckled, even as he watched her start to pace in the confined space. "You know how he gets. He'll go all Rambo on their asses and we'll be out of here in no time."

"Stop it, G," she said, shooting a warning glance his way. She didn't stop moving, barely even looked his way, causing his worry to tick up a notch.

"Hey," he said, stepping away from the wall to intercept her. He took her arm, squeezing gently as he forced her to meet his eyes. "We'll be fine; nothing to worry about. Eric and Nell have our last location and they'll get Sam and Deeks here as fast as they can."

"You don't need to patronize me, _Agent Callen_," she said, venom in her voice.

She ripped her arm out of his grip and stood toe to toe with him, but while her posture screamed furious, her eyes flashed with fear. He'd known putting her back in the field too soon was a risk, but he'd hoped that she was strong enough to overcome the events of her captivity and emerge the same steely, determined woman she'd always been.

He should have known better. After all, it was hardly as though he'd been unaffected by recent events.

~o~

_Sam pulls him aside as they watch the girl pick her way across uneven terrain towards the insurgents massing on the other side of the small gully. _

_"Are you sure you can do this, G?"_

_Callen huffs. He's compromised, and he knows it. It's not as though Sam isn't worried about their teammate, but Sam Hanna is always controlled in the field, in a way that Callen is almost jealous of. _

_But this is different, and Callen knows it. And so does Sam._

_"I have to get her back," he says, low voice quivering in the heat of the day. "I just—I _have_ to get her back, Sam."_

_Sam looks at him for a long minute. It's like he's reading his soul, and G Callen hasn't ever been read as thoroughly as he has by Sam. Not even Hetty Lange has been able to divine all his secrets, but Sam seems to be able to read him like a First Grade Dick and Jane reader._

_"Were you going to tell me?" he asks. _

_Callen can hear the hurt there, but it's banked in favor of assessing just how compromised his friend is. They'll be talking about this later, he has no doubt, but for now, he chooses to focus on what matters: getting Kensi back._

_"Eventually, yes." Callen knows that's not enough, but he's never been one for words. They're too messy and not nearly enough to encompass everything he thinks and feels. And with the people closest to him, he doesn't usually need them. But for Sam, who's frowning at him, about a second from snapping and doing him bodily harm in the middle of a mission, he gropes for the words to explain this. "Kensi and I… it just… happened. One night. We were just getting to a good place, where we felt like we could let people in, when—"_

_"When Hetty sent her halfway around the world." Sam's no dummy, so Callen's glad he doesn't have to explain the rest. "And Jo?"_

_And it figures he'd bring that up, but Callen knows now is not the time or the place. "Look, when this is all over, and we have Kensi back, I'll tell you everything you want to know. Just, can we get her back first?"_

_He can hear the desperation in his voice and it makes him cringe, but he's not going to apologize for loving her so much that he'd be willing to move heaven and earth and make a deal with the devil in order to get her back. _

_Sam's looking at him like a bug under a microscope. Callen puts on his best game face and meets that assessing gaze head on. "Are you sure you can do this?"_

_"No," he says, going for bald honesty and hoping his friend will understand. "But I'm doing it anyway."_

~o~

Her eyes flashed dangerously, and Callen knew that she'd lash out at him because her fear was overwhelming her and that was the only way she knew how to cope with it. About the best he could say for the situation was that she wouldn't be able to do much damage in such a confined space.

It wasn't much comfort.

He thought about and discarded about a dozen different approaches, but really he could think of only one that had a better than even chance at working. He just wasn't sure he was ready for the consequences if it went wrong. But, never let it be said that G Callen backed down from a challenge.

He stepped forward, and just as expected, Kensi took a step back. He smiled inwardly as she did what he'd expected her to, careful not to let the expression show on his face as he took another step, and another, slowly but surely backing her into the door. When her back hit the door, she jumped, but with such close quarters, sliding away from him wasn't really in the cards.

He took advantage of that now, invading her personal space, crowding her into the door, pressing his body along the long length of hers. This close, even though the room was mostly in darkness and her face in the shadows, he could see the fear still swirling in her eyes. But it had been joined by arousal, as he'd hoped. Giving her something to focus on besides their captivity was a calculated risk, but he knew it was the right one to take.

Not giving her time to think, much less object, he closed that last inch, kissing her slowly at first, but building the intensity until all she could do was wrap her arms around him and hold on.

~o~

_He lets Deeks comfort her, even though his arms ache to hold her, soothe her. But they're not alone. There's a whole base full of Marines, and the Deputy Director, to think about, and he knows she won't thank him for coddling her in front of any of them. Besides, Deeks is her partner and if there's anyone he'd trust her to, it would be Marty Deeks._

_Still, he's not surprised at all when she crawls into his bedroll that night. If Sam hears, he doesn't let on, just rolls over and ignores them._

_There's no privacy here, so they don't talk, and the furthest thing from Callen's mind in that moment is sex. Instead, he just holds her, running his hand soothingly up and down her back, laying kisses into her hair and standing watch while she falls into a fitful slumber. _

_He'd wanted to be gone by now, but the transport they were schedule to leave on had been delayed, so they'd been forced to spend the night. Not that it'll make much difference whether the nightmares come in Afghanistan or Los Angeles. _

_She's gone by morning, and if it weren't for the fact that his arm is asleep, he'd think he'd imagined the whole thing._

_When they get back, he doesn't see her for a couple of days. Between the medics and psych, he expects her to come calling sooner, but she's always been stubborn, especially about the things she needs. Needless to say, he's a little shocked when he finds her curled up on the lounger on his back patio one morning, three days after they return._

_He doesn't say anything, just lets her sleep as he makes his coffee. When he comes back to the kitchen after his shower, she's gone, and when they see each other at work, it's as if nothing happened at all. Either she doesn't know he found her sleeping on his patio or she wants to pretend he didn't. Either way, he doesn't say anything._

_She doesn't come by for a couple of days, and he begins to think maybe it was just a one-time thing, until he finds her in the same place the next morning. She could pick the locks on his place fairly easily, so he's not sure what it says about where her head and heart are that she keeps stopping on the patio. He thinks maybe it has something to do with confined spaces, and then he thinks maybe it has to do with looking for someone to comfort her but being too ashamed to ask for it._

_Whatever it is, he waits a couple more days and then, when he figures she's about due for another visit, he deliberately leaves the back patio door open. He never sleeps without a gun under his pillow, so he's not really worried that someone will try to come in and kill him in his sleep. _

_It'll be a cold day in hell when someone gets the drop on G Callen._

_And maybe that's what she was waiting for all this time, because that night she crawls in bed with him and curls herself around him. They don't talk about why she's doing this, and they don't talk about what happened in Afghanistan. But if this helps her, he'll do it._

_He'll do anything for her, and he hopes by now she knows that._

~o~

She was trying to climb him like a tree, and yeah, if they were anywhere else, he'd be all on board with that idea, but they were locked in a damned supply closet surrounded by bad guys. Not really a good time for closet-nookie.

He really needed to stop spending so much time with Sam. It was like the man was living inside his head.

He gentled the kiss, pulling back when she made to follow him and keep going. He didn't go far, only far enough to rest his forehead against hers. They were both breathing heavily, the kiss having gotten a good deal more passionate than he'd planned. His jeans were a bit too snug, and knowing that he wouldn't be able to do anything about that for hours really didn't help.

Callen cradled Kensi's head in his hand, his fingers curling around her neck as his thumb caressed her cheek. He let the moment spin out, just the two of them sharing the same air, heat from their bodies warming each other wherever they were touching.

"You okay?" he asked quietly, his finger continuing to stroke her skin as if he were gentling a wild horse.

Kensi took a deep breath. Callen pulled back, eyes still focused on her with laser intensity. This close, he'd know if she was lying.

"Yeah, I'm okay."

He could still see the fear in her eyes, but it was dimmer now, controlled. And he could see that she was standing straighter. She'd stopped fidgeting, her hands gripping his sides in a firm hold. He felt the worry in his chest uncoil a little. He knew she'd never let her fear freeze her up when it counted, but he hated seeing her like this, broken and damaged and not sure how to find her way back.

Callen's head tilted as he heard a commotion outside. The distinctive pop of gunfire reached his ears, and he glanced at his watch. Fifteen minutes, almost exactly.

"Well, at least Sam's punctual." She chuckled, and he relaxed back a little. "Don't think we're not going to talk about this."

Kensi groaned. "G, I'm—"

"You're not fine," he said, cutting across her. She scowled at him, anger flaring in her eyes to replace the fear. It was something, at least, but he couldn't let her deflect. He hated pushing, but he knew it was for her own good. "It's either talk to me or talk to Nate. Your choice."

"Fine," she said through clenched teeth.

"Hey," he said, pushing closer, wrapping both hands around her head to force her to look at him. "You are the most important person in the world to me, and you're hurting. It doesn't have to be me, but it needs to be someone you trust. Talk to Deeks if you think it'll help. But don't shut us out. Okay?"

Kensi stared at him for a long minute. Callen worried that maybe he'd pushed too hard, but he knew she'd try to pretend that none of what happened in Afghanistan had affected her. He knew that was a lie, because their mission to rescue her had affected _him_. And seeing Jack Sullivan after so long, after believing him to be dead, had to have messed with her head, even just a little.

Hetty had known what she was doing, asking Kensi to go over there to kill Jack, knowing that she wouldn't be able to. But it didn't change the fact that she'd stared down the barrel of a sniper rifle at the man she'd planned to marry once upon a time. Add captivity to that and you had a recipe for PTSD.

He could see it the moment she gave in. Her shoulders slumped and her eyes closed as her head thunked back on the door.

"Okay," she whispered.

He could hear shouting outside, their friends getting closer to where they'd been stashed with every passing second. He ran his thumbs under her eyes, catching the tears she probably hadn't realized she was crying.

"We're going to get through this together, right?"

She opened her eyes, locking with his for a heartbeat, then two. Finally, she nodded. He pulled her to him, enveloping her in a hug. They weren't out of the woods yet, but it was a start.

"I love you, Kensi," he whispered into her ear before pressing a kiss to her temple.

She buried her face in his neck, so he almost didn't hear her muffled_ love you, too_.

Callen stepped back, holding on to her shoulders as he let her pull herself together. "You ready?"

Kensi nodded. "Let's do this."

Somehow, Callen knew they weren't talking about getting out of their supply-closet-cum-jail-cell. That was the Kensi Blye he knew and loved.

He couldn't have stopped the smile from taking over his face if he'd tried.

~Finis


End file.
